Why haven’t you changed?

The other day someone said to me, “You have changed, you are not the same anymore.” This comment, coming from someone I had known for a very long time, was intended as a compliment but came across as criticism instead. To me, it sounded more like a terrible than a good thing. My response was, “Yes, probably.” The remark, and my reaction to it, really made me ponder. Why did I perceive it as a terrible thing? Aren’t we all constantly changing? And, if not, why haven’t you changed? Whoever said that change is bad? Everywhere I look and everything I hear and read proclaims that change is absolutely a positive thing!

Where does change come from? What forces an individual to change? Of course, there are some life events that force us to change, new friends, our new job, a new school, new house, new partner, new pet, and so forth. All those opportunities provide you with a chance to embrace and even actively seek change, whatever the change that you decide to have.

The world constantly evolves so much all around us, why would anyone even want to stay stagnant and resist change? When you go through and embrace change, you simultaneously grow as an individual, you evolve into a better version of yourself. The change and its discomfort are what forces you to do that. And, really, that’s wonderful; you are forced to change without necessarily figuring out how to make that change.

But despite all this, not everyone decides to change. Some people prefer to stay the way they already are. Remaining one’s current self is ultimately about comfort; it is comforting to know who you know, what you know, and who you are. In contrast, it is challenging to learn something new, to become the new you, to acquire a new trade, to meet new people, to do anything new, really. All of that can be incredibly difficult, hence most people who change are actually forced into that change rather than seeking it out. It is just so much more comfortable otherwise.

Our life is nothing but constant change, and we all have to learn to live with that. Everything around us constantly changes, evolves, grows, for better or worse. People, places, buildings, news, etc. So, if we are not capable of growing and accepting these changes around us – we will eventually get stuck and left behind.

Without some prompting force, where does change originate? Well, it comes from the self’s willingness to change. And that is, of course, easier said than done. Once you decide to change, there should be a plan with concrete steps and actions that must be taken in an attempt to achieve your goal. This may seem like a lot but is totally achievable as long as you are eager and motivated to pursue your goal. See my article on “Goals” for more information.

Why I am saying is this: Change is always good, whatever it is, it takes you out of your comfort zone and makes you consider other and more viable solutions. After all, no one ever said, “I want to get out of my comfort zone, and this is how I will be doing it …”

So, the next time someone tells you that you have changed, take it as a compliment. Not everyone is capable to change to such a degree that another person takes notice. Good job!