Fake Relationships: What You Need to Know
Have you ever wanted to learn more about fake relationships, how they work, and why people develop fake relationships in the first place? In many cases, it can seem hard to wrap your head around a fake relationship, but I have outlined some of the key things you need to know about fake relationships to help ensure you have the necessary knowledge to handle such relationships in your own life, too.
What is a Fake Relationship?
Before we go any further, we first need to define what we mean by a fake relationship, to begin with. To use the simplest possible definition, a fake relationship is a relationship where things aren’t necessarily quite as honest and heartfelt in reality as they may appear on the surface. Notably, a person in a fake relationship may say they love their partner or the other individual(s) in the relationship, but their actions and behaviors may not actually meet this.
What Causes People to Become Fake?
There are numerous reasons people become fake in terms of their relationships. Sometimes, this may be due to past emotional trauma; some people may find it hard to feel love if they have been neglected of love during their childhood, while for others, the desperate desire to love and be loved may lead to them forcing a relationship that isn’t really genuine.
It’s also worth noting that a previously honest and genuine relationship could become a fake one over time. If you have fallen out of love with a partner (or vice versa), you may find that you end up in a relationship for which you or the other partner has little love and passion.
A fake relationship can be triggered by one or both people within the relationship, although if you suspect that you might be in one, it could be worth looking at whether you could either repair the relationship or otherwise move on from it.
Why We Feel Obliged to Stay in Fake Relationships
There are numerous reasons why we might feel obliged to stay in a fake relationship, and this can leave us “putting up” with someone who isn’t actually in a loving relationship with us. There are several key reasons why we might feel obliged to stay in fake relationships:
- Past relationships: If you were previously in a loving relationship with someone but have fallen out of love with them, you may feel obliged to stay in the relationship even though you no longer have romantic or friendly feelings for your partner (or vice versa).
- Shared family: If you are in a fake relationship with someone with whom you have already started a family, it’s common to stay out of necessity rather than love. Many people find it incredibly difficult to leave a partner after starting a family with them, and so this can have a direct influence on your ability to leave a fake relationship.
- Desire for a relationship: If you are currently in a fake relationship but have a burning desire to have a successful connection with someone, you may feel afraid or unsure about leaving the relationship. In many cases, it’s not uncommon for people to stay in a fake, unloving relationship for the familiarity and companionship rather than leaving and being alone again.
- Emotional abuse or fear: Another common reason that people sometimes stay in a fake relationship is out of fear. Unfortunately, if a fake relationship becomes abusive, it can become very difficult for the abused partner to leave. This may leave them trying to cope with the fake relationship rather than taking steps for their own well-being.
How Can I Tell if I’m In a Fake Relationship?
You could look out for numerous signs that might indicate you are living in a fake relationship. These include (but are not limited to) the following points:
- They don’t make time for you and your relationship
- They seem disinterested in your feelings and thoughts
- You feel uncomfortable in their presence
- The time spent together feels forced and cold
- Things feel shallow or self-serving rather than a partnership
- You’re constantly having to suggest things to do, rather than it being a joint effort
- They are not reliable or often let you down (without a good reason)
- They struggle to maintain commitments and often come up with excuses
- Your relationship feels like it’s constantly on the edge of breaking down
Many of the above points can be caused by a myriad of issues – however, if you begin noticing several of these, you may want to consider whether the relationship is genuine or not.
Overcoming Fake Relationships
If you have noticed that you might be in a fake relationship, taking steps to overcome this can be a little difficult. This often requires open, honest, and meaningful discussions between both (or all) members of the relationship to bring the behavior to light and find a way to move past it.
If you are both determined to get past the fake relationship, it is possible to do so with time, determination, and energy. However, if either member of the relationship isn’t fully committed, overcoming a fake relationship may become incredibly difficult. In this scenario, you may want to consider whether you are causing yourself more pain by staying indefinitely.
Final Thoughts
There’s no doubt that for many people, living in a fake relationship can be an incredibly painful experience. However, if you have been living with fake relationships, you may want to begin considering steps to develop a healthier relationship structure overall. But remember: if living in a fake relationship is hurting your own mental health and self-confidence, there is no shame in stepping back from the relationship and distancing yourself from the person or people causing you distress.
A fake relationship is not healthy, no matter how badly you want it to be – so it’s important to take steps to keep fake people out of your life where possible. After all, don’t you deserve better than that?